February 2009
3 posts
Yes. I Googled...
…The Ex.
We were both obviously moving on T-Gd but I don’t know what happened. I mean, I do know. Anyway, I have something I think I need to say to him but I know I should just keep it to myself and keep moving on. *sigh*
Oh well I guess.
WHY do all the guys on The Hills and The City remind me of my ex? (Except the Australians). Oh right, because they’re all hot, rich, bland and generic. Guys like that are like catnip for me. Vom.
January 2009
1 post
The City
I hate to admit that I”m actually watching it but I am and it reminds me of The Ex SO MUCH. Haven’t posted in awhile b/c haven’t had much to say to or about him, which is good, but this episode of The City is like watching the entire shit of us breaking up b./c of him cheating all over again. When the guys are having a boys night out and it veers into boys and girls night in. And...
December 2008
2 posts
“I try to talk to you, but I don’t know what to say. I am afraid you don’t want...”
– Anonymous (via hit-or-miss) (via becausewhy) (via sarcastic) (via srsly) (via unicornology)
Ok really, I do know that you don’t have all those things locked inside you. But I wish you did.
“A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.”
– Helen Rowland (via skysignal)
very true.
(via becausewhy)
(via irissalu)
(via saynicole)
(via crazybeautiful)
(via bon-bon)
(via unicornology)
November 2008
5 posts
Are You Kidding Me???
The Ex used to always say the above, emphasising you and me. Never, you’ve got to be kidding me, like I would say. Like I just said to myself when I reached for the phone and caught a glimpse of the back of his car driving past outside AGAIN. Are you kidding me?? No. It was just the back of the car, but it was distinguishable. I wasn’t even looking out the window this time!!!! And it...
BAD TIMING
The Ex just drove by. This is what I get for taking the afternoon off to work from home and then for staring out the window instead of doing work. He had the puppy in the care too. jOnly good thing is that I didn’t go running down the street after them.
I broke down in tears today when my friend was gushing about her anniversary with her boyfriend (soon to be fiance) because my anniversary with The Ex would’ve been last week. And I really thought I’d be getting a ring right about now.
Even though I know I’m destined for better things (see post below), I still have some bad days. It’s hard to trust that everything will be...
Onward and upward.
playnice:
Thank God you’re not still with any of your exs. They were an important part of your growth process and now you’ve out grown them.
Today remind yourself: Onward and upward.
Can't Sleep.
…because you’re not here. And I miss you.
And we were both right. I don’t want to be forgettable, but I do like fading away.
October 2008
25 posts
I almost started crying at a networking event when...
“So what do I do with all the love I have? Send it into the skies? Write it on...”
– (via sunlit-skies) (via pieces) (via closertotheocean) (via kendraspear) (via dilaudid) (via sleepanddream)
All that stuff you were convinced I hated is...
Hate that I go to bed early all the time now that...
“You take a born-pretty girl and you dress her up in pretty things, curl her...”
– Beautiful and Depraved: “6: Prettiness” (via debauchette) (via yolanda) (via msbojangles) (via marjchun) (via laceymae)
I used to be smart and motivated. Now I just feel like a dead-eyed starlet from the Hills
One Good Thing
If we hadn’t broken up, I might never have figured out how hot porn is.
I can do better.
Better than someone who throws everything away for blond jailbait? Yes.
You, on the other hand, cannot do better than me. I’m the best thing you ever had. You fucked up. I win.
I’m fine on my own. I like my space and my things. But sometimes, I don’t like being in this big house alone. Many times, I don’t feel secure here. I wish I could call you to come over and be with me. I wish I knew you’d come if I called.
“Missing you could turn from pain to pleasure, if I knew you were missing me too.”
– Author unknown (via skysignal) (via avajean) (via beckypierson) (via jennyjennjen) (via ideasarelikestars)
Nothing changes
ohmydarlin:
I was doing so well for weeks. All ducks were in a row. New job. New apartment. New girl (not girl friend just yet). I thought for sure I was moving on; that even though we haven’t seen each other since April I’d more or less put this situation to bed. I wanted to hear from you so badly and I still do but I can’t put my life on pause. Seven months ago I made a grandiose gesture and...
“No matter how powerful and real your feelings may be for someone, if that person...”
– He`s Just Not That Into You - Reality bites. (via bluorchid)
1. I love this book. That’s right everyone, I really did read it. Fact.
2. Needed to hear this right now.
3. It’s still not doing enough to keep me from wanting to hit Send
Ex Text
Only slightly better than ex sex (well, depends on what terms you’re judging…)
Both are BAD IDEAS. Very tempting, very bad. Texting the ex, esp sober, is not going to accomplish what I want. Whatever that is. I wish there was nicorette for these kinds of cravings. Or one of those diet pills that makes you not crave food. I need a get-over-him pill.
How did you go so quickly from taking such good...
From a friend of a friend's Facebook.
Let go of what kills you and hold on to what keeps you breathing.
I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing… kissing a lot. I believe in staying strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day. And I believe in miracles.
Life is too short to wake up...
“I will never be back where I was. Why? Because there are some things you are...”
– [Private] Life at a All-Women’s College
I might. But not now. Not yet.
It’s still too soon.
FYI:
Pretending he doesn’t exist and never existed doesn’t work when I see him or his car or his house from a distance (unfortuntately can’t move right now with the markets and the economy the way they are). Thinking too much of him, hence the deluge of posts again.
“Each time you break up with someone, another handful of things that you had...”
– (via melanyouth) (via franklieu)
This whole situation has been so hard for me because I’m competitive and I’m a perfectionist and I think I can do anything I set out to do and failing in this relationship, the one relationshiP I really thought wasn’t going to fail, even though it...
“I’m a pool of imperfections. Sometimes I’m moody. I can get angry easily. I...”
– Unknown (via shesapsycho) (via imjustlikeme) (via amandoline) (via unicornology)
I wish more people (aka The Ex) understood this about me.
Sex with the Ex? | Sex. Tech. Style →
Needed to hear all this.
Highlights I really needed to hear are below.
From Today's TMI Weekly....yeah, I watched it
Julia: I feel like guys do not continue to think about their exes after they break-up.
Mary: Well I had sex with mine last night -
Julia: *gasps* I cannot believe you just said that!
Mary: - so I can pretty much tell you that he was definitely still thinking about me.
...
Julia: The only way of getting over your exes is basically to fall in love with someone new.
Meghan: And also have NO contact. Do not see them, do not date them -
Julia: But no I still think about them!
Meghan: - Do NOT sleep with them again
Julia: I wouldn't do that.
Mary: You can "fall in love" with somebody but if you fall in love with them immediately then you yourself will never really figure out what went wrong with the person you were in love with before. And second of all, there is NOTHING wrong with sleeping with an ex after a given amount of time.
...
Meghan: NO. Do not sleep with your ex
.....
Julia: I do agree you shouldn't have any contact for a given amount of time, but then I think that you could maybe start it over, because it's really depressing to me, to think about all my exes, all the time and the love and the energy I devoted to them for what? For nothing? For no relationship?
Mary: No, you learned so much about yourself during all of those relationships and so you have to give yourself credit and, you know, learn what you did and didn't like about them and move on.
....
Julia: I keep thinking about the fact that they were *snaps fingers* so quick to stop talking to me, and it makes me not want to get in another relationship.
Meghan: Makes me jaded.
Julia: Yeah! Jaded and bitter.
Meghan: And I don't want to be like that
September 2008
17 posts
SOS
Majorly backpedaling right now.
I’d been good for so long, started seeing a great guy but being with him reminds me of being with The Ex, so bad idea.
I now we’re not getting back together, I might never see my puppy again which kills me but I accept it. I just wish everything didn’t remind me of “us.” Or I wish I knew why it had started up again even when we...
“Closing your eyes and plugging up your ears won’t make time stand still.”
– Tumblr
“Isn’t ironic…
We ignore those who adore us,
Adore those who ignore us,
Hurt...”
– Unknown
Very ironic.
(via justlia)
And very sad, but I feel (maybe I’m wrong) we all do this to some extent. At least I do.
(via sarahchristine)
Me too. I think it’s a pretty typical situation - or maybe just typical of my life?
“Things that are done, it is needless to speak about. Things that are past, it is...”
– Confucius (via thresca)
Ok, Confucius, I get it. Done. At least until the next time my mind decides to be flooded with the past. At least these “spells” are getting shorter??
“You can only go on so long about feelings that never, ever actually touch you.”
– “Yellow,” Okkervil River (via align) (via unicornology)
…but you can go on forever about feelings that melded themselves into your soul
“Sometimes when you hold out for everything, you walk away with nothing....”
– Ally Mcbeal (via thresca)
The world is no longer a romantic place for me. Sorry. World 1, me -50. xoxo
(Really sad part? I don’t feel lonely. Nor do I really care so much one way or the other that I ended up empty-handed. Not empty, just bland.)
No second chances with your heart.
playnice:
You’re a rational human being. You can determine when someone deserves a second chance. But when it’s a second chance with your feelings, it’s tough to stay objective. How many times have we said, “never again,” only to return to someone that’s hurt us in the past because they’re comfortable. I think we need to remember that, odds are, this time won’t be different. This person...
“In life, God doesn’t give you the people you want.. instead He gives you the...”
– Unknown (via thresca)
Treading Water
I almost texted The Ex last night. Ultimately I didn’t, because it was late (though I was sober) and he would’ve been asleep, or intoxicated, or in bed with someone else, and what I had to say was a little bit too long for a text. It needed to be a phone call, or a brief statement written on a post-it note, slipped quietly into his mailbox when he wasn’t home. I try not to think...
“we forget all too soon the things we thought we could never forget. we forget...”
– joan didion (via paperbackgirl) (via finallyseeing) (via marjchun) (via jeralyndwile)
I wish I could forget. I’ve been cursed with an elephant’s memory since I started being conscious of things, maybe when I was about two.
“Whatever with the past has gone, the best is always yet to come.”
– Lucy Larcom (via thresca)
I read this and went HELL YEAH!! And then remembered that I pretty much always think that, and I pretty much always get knocked on my ass wondering when things are going to finally start getting better instead of getting worse. I’m not asking for any great...
*Deep Breath*
Keep thinking about things that aren’t, things that I’ve been trying not to think about. Remembering them today, for some reason, but not relapsing. Remembering, not reminiscing, not relapsing. I can handle this. I have to handle this.
